Go Go Gadget Flamethrower

A great week for Star Wars: The Old Republic updates. I was particularly interested in reading a lot of the many new hands-on articles out there, simply because they focus on the Bounty Hunter, which is still so far my class of choice.

Watching the Star Wars movies as a kid, I was never dazzled by Luke Skywalker or even by the roguish charms of Han Solo. No, for me, it was always about the Fett man. To this day, I still try to convince myself that the new prequel movies never happened, that they were really just in my head, a waking nightmare induced by all the wild shenanigans of my teenage years. But alas, they did happen and with every blasted Spike TV Star Wars marathon I am reminded of how those movies robbed my favorite bounty hunter of all his delicious mystery.

But I digress.

Reading these articles, what really interests me is that the Bounty Hunter doesn’t necessarily have to be a depraved and evil class, despite the shady archetype. If I can choose to be a self-serving character, unbeholden to any Sith Master or Empire stooge, and have the ability to make decisions based on own moral compass, I’ll be a happy camper. That said, the alignment system will probably make a light-sided Bounty Hunter out of me. The prospect of being a “gadgeteer” is also very appealing, in addition to the mobile and aggressive “cover-is-for-pussies” play style.

This week’s EA EU Press Event also gave us a wealth of information. With the introduction of the Advanced Class System, Bioware has set up a new page to give us more information on how it will work. This game just officially gave me one of those pinch-myself-to-make-sure-I’m-awake moments. Every time I turn around it seems like they’re announcing something fabulous, but this stands to make a lot of people happy if they manage to pull it off. Take as much time as you need, Bioware, I can wait a while longer if it means a fine polish over everything you promise to deliver.

There’s also a new dev blog out on creating worlds, with a focus on the mysterious planet of Voss. Their choice of planet to talk about was probably no accident, given how very little anyone knows about Voss. “Open for creativity” was a relatively good way to put it. A few days ago, fellow blogger Hunter wrote up a nice summary of his thoughts on the SWTOR planets revealed to date, and he called it — Voss appears to be rife with original story elements. I just love seeing how the devs think, and the amount of thought and care being invested into their game never ceases to amaze me.

Fight Like A Khitan

So, you want to learn how to fight like the ancient masters, little grasshopper?

Xiaohuli: Yes, sifu, but um, my name is “Little Fox” actually. You didn’t just get the species wrong, you sort of missed the entire phylum–

SILENCE, FOOL GIRL! Do you want to pwn face or not?!

Xiaohuli: Yes, sifu, I do.

Then you shall go forth and master the legendary arts of the mighty polearm, grasshopper. Take this most sacred weapon of the celestial heavens, acquaint yourself with its power, use it to bring honor to all your ancestors who have wielded it before you.

Xiaohuli: This is a rusty pitchfork…

/facepalm. Insolent girl who say dumb things get hit with Five Point Palm Exploding Heart technique.

Xiaohuli: Okay, okay, I’ll do what you say. Just…keep that Pai Mei stuff away from me. So then, what are we going to learn first?

First, we shall master the Divine ROFLcopter technique of the Thousand River Hands! Twirl that mighty pitchfork, twirl!

Xiaohuli: Too easy, sifu, give me another one!

Very well, cocky little grasshopper. Perhaps the Magnificent Imperial Roaring Monkey Slam technique shall humble you.

Xiaohuli: Hai-YA! I'll blow your throat up!

That’s it! Good! Good! Now the Jumping Jab of the Wavering Mystical Lotus!

Xiaohuli: Like this?

Yes, yes! Very impressive! You have been a very good student, young one, and there is little more I can teach you now…save one last technique. But you must use it wisely, grasshopper — its touch is death, a secret power revered by the heavenly ancients, not to be used improperly or without care.

Xiaohuli: Okay, shoot. What fancy move is it going to be this time? The Invincible Smash of the Dancing Ox? The Laughing Emperor’s Harmonious Crush? The Shadow Strike of the Mad Chrysanthemum-Blossom?

Behold, the Emasculating Thrust of the Gushing Groin!

Xiaohuli: Ah. *squish* Just like grape.

(By the way, I am loving my polearm/pitchfork twirling Guardian. Can you tell?)