Archive for March 31st, 2010

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Starfleet Report: “Federation News Service” Fleet Formed

March 31, 2010

Yesterday, Adventurer Historian made a post on his blog about joining a new Star Trek Online fleet. He and I were in the same one, so I understood his reasons for wanting a change. First of all, our fleet, Citrus Task Force was not a large one to begin with. On top of that, over the weeks its active members have dwindled to the point where every time I log in I would find that I’m the only one online. It does indeed get lonely, and I decided then to start looking for a new home for T’Andy as well.

Anyway, it’s creepy sometimes how things work out. I sit down to my computer during lunch today, and find an email in my inbox from Blue Kae, asking if I would be interested in joining a fleet that he and Tipa from West Karana are putting together. Ooh, it’s a sign! So of course I said yes. Since this afternoon, a few other bloggers and tweeters have come on board with this. Thus, the Federation News Service fleet was born (OMG, I JUST got that…’cause you know, we’re all bloggers and tweeters and stuff and–wow, boy, am I slow.)

Celebrating the formation of the FNS fleet on Tipa's colossal bridge.

FNS will be a casual, modest fleet, and that as of now there are no specific plans besides having a chat channel and a second uniform slot. Still, it’ll be fun and relaxing, not to mention it’s a great opportunity to get to know the community. Future events like missions and taskforces are a possibility too.

If you’re interested in joining us, feel free to leave a comment below or look any of us up in-game. My handle is T’Androma@Caylinn.

Update: I want to add, you don’t have to have a blog or tweet to join us! It so happened this was the way the fleet was formed, but we will accept anyone who plays the game and are interested in joining a friendly and fun community.

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Hyborian Survival Guide – Part I

March 31, 2010

Lessons learned from journeying through the treacherous lands of Age of Conan.

1. Do NOT piss off the women.

You do so at your peril. Hyboria is home to the most ruthless, blood-thirsty women I have ever met. And I’m not just talking about the warriors either. Take Mr. Fabio in the above screenshot, for example. I found his wife standing at an Old Tarantia street corner, fuming because he ran off with a skanky tavern wench.  “Well, I can go and try to convince him to come back,” I offered. “Yes, please do so,” she said, “but that’s not all, I also want you to kill his little whore of a mistress.”  Me: “Wow, isn’t that a little extreme? I mean, I could rough him up a bit for you, or maim him if you really want him to pay, but really, there’s no need to take someone’s li–” Wife: “NO DAMMIT KILL HIS WHORE!!!” Me: “Okay, okay, chillax, I’m on it.”

2. It’s everyone for themselves.

You would think after rescuing someone from a life of slavery or worse, they’d show a little gratitude, maybe help you fight a little. Not these prisoners. No sirree, you let them out of their cage and they’ll just run off, letting you take care of the ambushers by yourself. Also, the guards posted around villages and cities? Purely for show. Picture this: a hoard of raving lunatics are chasing after you, itching to tear you limb from limb. You run as fast as you can towards the closest village and make it through the wooden gates. Think you’re safe now? Guess again. The guards will stand around and watch as the enemies beat the living snot out of you, right there in the village center.

3. A career as an undertaker is as recession-proof as you can get.

I have three words for you: Dead bodies everywhere. One thing I really want to do is go up to Conan and tell him, “I love what you have done with your kingdom, your majesty! There’s just something so…cadaverous about it!” I swear, you can’t walk three feet without tripping over a half-decomposed, fly-ridden corpse. Beautiful as Hyboria is, it must reek to high heaven. I’ve seen bodies piled in a corner, hanging from rafters, chained to walls, tied to tree trunks, skewered on pikes, cooking in cauldrons, drowned in fountains, rotting in gibbets…everywhere but buried in the ground where they’re supposed to be! No wonder the crows are so fat in these parts.

4. If you’re going to die, for the love of Crom, try and have the presence of mind to kick it somewhere more convenient.

Dying is always a pain in the ass, and it’s especially true in Hyboria. While you’ll always resurrect at the nearest spawn point, there’s no guarantee that the spawn point in question won’t be high on a cliff with no direct way back down, or right smack in the middle of a fortress crawling with enemies. Sometimes, it’s better just to eat the half-hour death penalty and not bother running back to your tombstone, because it’s just not worth it.