Sims 3 Saturday: Fast FiveAugust 11, 2012
Welcome back to the “Family Man Challenge” (i.e. the “Father-as-many-children-as-you-can Challenge”). The Sims 3 saga continues, picking up where we left off last week. There have been a few setbacks for my Sim, but he’s not one to get discouraged. In fact, he’s more determined than ever to do better this week. Sowing one’s wild oats is not as easy as one would think…
First things first. No more waiting around for women like Agnes Crumplebottom to just walk up and knock on his door, since apparently she was a fluke. For this to work, we’re going to have to go out and actively meet more new people. WAY more new people. Naturally, my Sim wasted no time buying a car so he can start visiting community lots in the neighborhood where most Sims congregate.
This move paid off almost immediately. During one of his trips to the park, my Sim had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of one Ayesha Ansari, the beautiful and sexy resident of the Working Friends household. They hit it off right away, and in no time at all were trying for a baby.
Meanwhile, things were getting confusing with all these new contacts. It’s hard enough juggling multiple women, there’s no sense trying to maintain those dead-end relationships that have not borne fruit (so to speak), so it was time to prune my Sim’s friends list (again, so to speak). I was genuinely sorry to see that Kate Pistachio, our very own kleptomaniac-maid extraordinaire, was the first to go. Recall from last week that her household was too full for a new baby. For some reason, I couldn’t get the option for her to move in with me to show up either, so inevitably, we broke up.
Kate did not take it well. It also did not help that I fired her afterward, for the sole purpose of increasing the chances that a new maid might show up, one who might be more receptive to the goals of my challenge. Yes, my Sim is such a dick! As such, he deserved every kick and punch.
Sadly, we also had to say good bye to Fiona McIrish. She was the mother of my Sim’s first child and will always be special to him, but she was also going to become an elder very soon. Heartlessly, my Sim decided to break up with her by flirting with her roommate, Molly French, right before Fiona’s very eyes. Here, the game suddenly alerted me with a helpful pop-up: my Sim has earned a “dirt-bag” reputation! Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Remember Molly? The woman my Sim was originally dating but who dumped his ass last week when she caught him cheating on her with Fiona? Yep, this is shaping up to be one epic love triangle. Apparently, Molly has forgiven my Sim (or has completely forgotten his caddish ways; those Sims have terribly short memories, after all) and was eager to take him back and resume their relationship again. Very soon, they were expecting a child.
So far so good, but it never fails — just when things start to go smoothly in the Sims, that’s when you know it’s time for a derpy moment.
It started when my Sim noticed a pretty new face in his acquaintance list, Kaylynn Langerak. Feeling lonely one night, he called her up and invited her over. Their evening started off pleasantly enough, with long chats and friendly get-to-knows. That was when I noticed something was wrong — for some reason, I wasn’t getting any options to flirt or do anything romantic with her. With shock and disgust, I suddenly realized why. She was a teenager! ARRGGH! Why don’t they make the height differences a little more obvious?! What’s wrong with this girl anyway?! Agreeing to go to my Sim’s house alone, and in the middle of the night?! NO. HELL NO. ACK! UGH! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.
Thankfully, the birth of three more children at the end of my gaming session made up for the unpleasantness of that faux pas. We are now up to five! Molly French had a little boy, which was exciting. But the best part of all was that Ayesha Ansari had twins! This happened even without my Sim having to pay for fertility treatments with lifetime happiness points, so that was kind of a nice surprise.
Um, yeah. This game never ceases to amaze me with the weird and messed up things it allows you to do.