Screenshots Of The Day: TSW Extreme Make-Over

September 19, 2012

If you’ve ever had the misfortune of being on Vent at the same time as me while I’m playing The Secret World, then you’ll no doubt be familiar with my oft-recurring stupid rant about hair.

I know some gamers like to model their characters after their real-life look. Myself, I’ve rarely been able to do this because in real life I have long hair which goes way down almost to the small of my back. Ironically, the only character that I can think of right now which has allowed me to do this is my World of Warcraft night elf druid! Clearly, long hair options are rare to begin with, probably due to issues with graphical glitches and clipping, so people like me are already SOL. But then to add insult to injury, why in the name of all that is good and holy do most “long hair” options in MMOs stick you that “ZOMG I’ve just had the wildest night of sex in my life!” look?

TSW I’m looking at you! Since nearly the beginning, I’ve regretted that saucy, wind-tousled JBF look my character has sported, and had no idea how much I would grow to loathe having half my face constantly obscured. For this reason, I eagerly anticipated the Digging Deeper update which finally went live yesterday. I couldn’t stand it anymore, I had to hit the salon.

Time to insert mandatory unflattering, wild-eyed, deer-caught-in-the-headlights “Before” picture here:

And now, insert new-and-improved and glamor-shot worthy “After” picture here:

Laeyn didn’t exactly get the long, long hair she wished for, but the important thing is now you can view her entire face, which was what I really wanted. Many hairstyles and makeup options/facial decorations have been added to TSW, giving the game’s character creator a much needed boost. My trip to Ockham’s Razor left me very impressed.

My options at the plastic surgeon’s, however, not so much. Unfortunately, though the update advertised new heads and facial features, I don’t think I noticed any when I went to visit the Modern Prometheus. Due to recent rough times over at Funcom and multiple delays, I’m guessing certain plans didn’t pan out like they were supposed to. Budget cuts, restructuring, and losing a bulk of your workforce tend to do that. But really, I sympathize. As far as I’m concerned, Funcom could have taken as much time as they needed with this update as long as it launched with everything in working order.

Gotta love that panicky, holy-crap-what-the-hell-have-I-gotten-myself-into look on my face.

Speaking of which, the overall quality of the update was fantastic. For instance, everything else about the Modern Prometheus was simply amazing. There’s Peter Stormare’s excellent voice performance as Dr. Anton Aldini, or the fact that he’s set up shop inside a filthy old abattoir located in an alleyway behind a dumpster. Then there’s the atmosphere, which sort of reminded me of Saw. As one of my guildies observed, the whole setting makes you kind of scared to even step in through the door.

Not that I really needed to go under the knife; other than the pesky ‘do, I was actually quite happy with my character’s look to begin with. Though, since it was free…I tweaked a few of my features, applied some extra mascara and treated myself to a healthier looking tan. Laeyn the Vain strikes again.

Oh, how convenient! You can pick up a slab of fly-ridden meat AND get a nose job at the same time!

I spent the rest of the night in TSW with some friends and was reminded of why I love this game, and I have to say yesterday’s return made me realize just how much I missed it. The Digging Deeper patch also added a whole bunch of new quests as well as a new auxiliary weapon in the form of a rocket launcher, which I hope to be checking out gradually in the coming weeks. Funcom will probably need some time to get back on track, but as long as they maintain their regular update schedule, I still plan on jumping in every month for the new content.

A guild that gets plastic surgery together, stays together.


  1. I didn’t get a chance to jump last night, but I’ll have some time this evening. Just gotta download the update.

    • It’s a pretty damn big update!

      • It ended up not taking as long as I thought it would. I was disappointed in the choices available. They seemed basically the same as the initial character creation screen. Was there a second step when you hit “Proceed”?

      • There were a lot of new hair/makeup/facial decoration choices at Ockham’s Razor. On the other hand, like I said in my post I didn’t see any new options at Modern Prometheus. It said in their issue 2 preview that they were going to add new heads and facial features in the update, but I guess for whatever reason that didn’t pan out. My guess is perhaps due to the recent cuts and restructuring.

      • Yes, I remember Scars being mentioned. I went pretty cartefully through the make-up stuff my Dragon and saw nothing I didn’t remember from the character creation screen (though that memory may be faulty) unless you’re talking about colors, which I did not delve into. Basically, I am happy with at least two of my characters and saw nothing nothing I liked better. I still need to check the third.

        I did notice that the headmaster at Innsmouth seems to have a slightly different face than I remember from Sunday (the last time I played.)

      • Maybe I’m the one remembering wrong, since I don’t usually look at scars or tattoos either. But I do think there were more makeup options, there were names on some of the sets that I don’t seem to recall from before.

        I have not been over to the Academy, I’ll have to check it out! I’ve only done one of the new quests so far.

      • No new quest at Innsmouth with this patch. I am a lowbie still. :\

  2. Was working at doing the new Special Mission “Venetian Missile Crisis” that was kicking my ass and didn’t know you all were at same time taking a trip to plastic surgery office. Had to call it quits there for the night.

    • I only had time last night for the Savage Coast/Blue Mountain investigation quest, so I plan on doing the Venetian Missile Crisis (LOL) quest at a later date…gotta get that rocket launcher.

  3. I was surprised that the update was almost a 1 gig download. By the time I had it installed, I was off to an appointment in another game. Looking forward to trying it out tonight.

    • Yeah it was a huge download, but it was quite a lot of stuff. I hope you had some time to check it out 🙂

  4. Like the new hair! I’ve gotta say though, that’s about the most unflattering vest ever.

    • You should have seen what I was wearing before…

      I had to put on that ugly vest because Ms. Tarantella told me to put some clothes or she wasn’t going to go fight zombies with me 😛

  5. Actually they added long night-elf length hair for humans and blood elves in the same content update or expansion that included character makeovers in WoW a few years ago, and there’s a super long hair for humans and norn in GW2. And it’s sleek hair in both games, not wild sex hair although hand bands are a part of the look in GW2 (basically the prissy polar opposite of wild sex hair.) The norn also have some super long ponytail options, but my favorite was ruined by a big tacky metal accessory. So annoying.

    That plastic surgery office in TSW is kind of ingenious. Nice way of working the makeover feature into the ambiance of the game.

    • I remember the WoW updated hairstyles…I think I made my human warlock at that very tendril-y looking long hairdo. In GW2, I think I know what you’re talking about too, but I passed it over because it looked as stiff as a board. Guess that’s the problem with long hair as it’s difficult to animate realistically, especially during movement. You get either JBF hair or plank hair 😀

      • JBF hair. is. awesome! 😉

    • I just wish the hair accessories were dyable. I’m stuck making sure my engineer has a splash of jalapeño in her outfits because that’s the color of her headband. I think with my Norn Elementalist, I tried my best to color match his hair and his hair piece.

      • Good thing I normally don’t take hair accessories 😉

  6. Reblogged this on The EXOTERA.

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