Archive for September 22nd, 2012

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Sims 3 Saturday: RIP Sim, Survived By His 98 Children

September 22, 2012

Well, as you’ve probably already guessed from the title, after eight weeks of propagation madness, this will be the final installment of my blog’s Sims 3 Saturday series. As the rules state, the Family Man challenge ends when your Sim dies, and sadly (but in a not entirely unanticipated turn of events), the Grim Reaper finally got around to visiting my Sim during my last play session. Anyway, there will be time for the heartbreaking details later, but first there’s drama to be had and newborn babies to be counted.

Speaking of which, thanks to a sharp-eyed reader who pointed it out to me in the comment section, I realized I made an error last week and tallied up a total of 82 for the number of children my Sim has fathered, when the real total is actually 84! At the rate my Sim breeds, I just knew I was going to make a mistake sooner or later. So, this week, when Tracy Connor gave birth to a baby boy, that actually makes 85. Tamara Donner, the new Sim who moved in down the street, also gave birth to a boy for 86. Lisa Bunch, another new romance, gave birth to twins, making that 88. Back on track.

There’s also Jamie Jolina, the young attractive doctor my Sim met last week, who gave birth to her second set of twins for an even 90. Yeah, methinks that medical career of hers is going bye-bye for a little while, considering all that’s been on her plate lately, as evidenced by that time she came over to my Sim’s house for a quickie. Overtired, the two of them promptly fell asleep after their wild bout of woohooing, completely forgetting the fact that Jamie had brought along one of their kids when she came over. 3am and the poor helpless and neglected toddler finally keeled over from exhaustion, only to wake up on the cold floor to his crazy parents screaming down at him for doing absolutely nothing wrong!

Parenting fail.

Kaylynn Langerak, my Sim’s “official” girlfriend, also gave birth to her last child for a total of eight Sims for her household, bumping the total to 91. This latest bundle of joy was also a girl, making that seven baby girls for Kaylynn! Mark my words, that house is going to implode in a few Sim weeks, when all of them inevitably go through puberty at around the same time.

Perhaps sensing his end was near, as you’d recall, last week my Sim also resolved to be a better person. That includes being a better father. Whoever dubbed this challenge the “Family Man Challenge” obviously did it for the irony, but hey, that doesn’t mean my Sim can’t at least attempt to live up to the name!

The first thing he did was look up his eldest son, the first child he ever fathered with Fiona McIrish waaaay back in the first week. The boy that began it all, Edmund McIrish was now a teenager. My, how quickly time flies! My Sim hopes his firstborn will grow up to be a good man, and not turn out to be an insensitive womanizer and neglectful parent like his old dad.

Half-brothers and they don’t even know it.

At least things are looking good on that front, as Edmund appears to have a way with kids. He came over to the house while babysitting his mom’s friend’s son Fred French (who incidentally, if you’ll remember the Fiona McIrish/Molly French fiasco, is also my Sim’s child) and appears to be doing a much better job taking care of the little guy than a couple of the women my Sim has brought over to his house. Ahem, Jamie Jolina, I’m looking at you.

Next, my Sim decided to better get to know his children by throwing a party inviting as many of them as he could. Obviously, inviting close to a hundred kids to the house at the same time would crash my computer faster than a blimp in a hurricane, but seeing as most of them were toddlers and infants anyway, we made do with filling the guest list with about a dozen of his children who were elementary school aged or older. Since so many of them were also on the verge of aging up, it only made sense to make it a birthday party! We’ll decide who will get the honors later.

It’s a good thing all these children are my Sim’s own kids, because otherwise, an elderly man inviting a bunch of the neighborhood boys and girls over to his house for a party would be pretty creepy even by Sims 3 standards. Determined to provide a great time for his little ones, my Sim bought all new outdoor activity furniture and equipment for his backyard. A barbecue grill and picnic tables! Swings! A jungle gym and playset!

You children are creeping me out.

Well, that turned out to be a waste of time and money. All his kids wanted to do was sit inside and do homework. Oh well, I guess he can take pride in the fact that all his children are such good, studious Sims. When it came time for dinner, my Sim ordered a couple boxes of pizza because, hey kids, the only two things your old man knows how to cook are waffles and autumn salad (which doesn’t even really count)!

Finally, time to blow out the birthday candles! I randomly chose Jodi Ansari to age up. She was perhaps the third or fourth of my Sim’s children to become a teenager, but her birthday was special because my Sim was actually there to witness the transition. *Sniff*, my Sim can’t help but get a little teary-eyed. His kids are growing up!

Holy crap, Jodi Ansari just exploded into a cloud of stars!

And yet, new ones are still being born. Time for another wave of babies! Tamara had twins, 93! Jamie had a boy, 94! Lisa also had a boy, 95! Sandi French, a new romance my Sim managed to sneak in between all the partying (thankfully not during all the partying), also ended up giving birth to a boy, for a total of 96.

It’s a wonder that my Sim still had time to go out and meet new people, but he did go out for a meal one time and had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of one Blair Wainwright – a local policewoman. Maybe when she stays over, robbers will stop trying to break into my Sim’s house at night and try to steal his stuff while he’s sleeping?

Anyway, my Sim went through the motions, inviting Blair over to his house before turning on the charms to try and get her to woohoo with him. For some inexplicable reason, all this took place in his second floor bathroom. I don’t know why, that’s probably just where they happened to end up randomly, but it’s something my Sim will regret for the rest of his life…which didn’t turn out to be very long at all!

Right as things were heating up between my Sim and Blair, the Grim Reaper chose that very moment to show up! Well thanks, Grimmy, nothing kills the mood (har har) faster than Death himself knocking at the door. It was there my Sim finally died of old age, with a traumatized Blair looking on as Grims led his ghost away.

Oh look, my Sim wants to sleep. Careful what you wish for, eh?

Epilogue

Two more of my Sim’s children were born after his death. Alicia Schwab was the last woman he romanced and she gave birth to twins, bringing the final total of the number of children he fathered to 98. At just shy of 100 children, I have a new personal record for the Sims 3 Family Man Challenge.

My Sim being the only member of his household and with him now dead, I had to switch over to another active household if I wished to continue playing. I decided to choose Edmund McIrish’s household. As my Sim’s firstborn, I felt that was appropriate. The fact that he was also the first of all my Sim’s children to become a young adult helped. Because of it, I was able to move him out of his old house and into the one in which his father used to live. Edmund went upstairs where he found my Sim’s urn in the place where he had died, right in the middle of the bathroom floor. What a terrible place to expire.

There are no restrictions in Sims 3 about burying bodies in your own backyard.

I ended up placing his grave in the backyard by the garage and beside the big tree. There are no funerals in the original Sims 3, but Edmund decided to invite a bunch of his half-brothers and sisters to a gathering at the house anyway, so they could say good bye their dearly departed dad together. Many more of them have grown to become high school aged now, and despite my Sim’s efforts to get to know his children late in his life, the majority of them had never even met him and were more than happy for an excuse to skip first period.

Since this was supposed to be a solemn event, Edmund had the presence of mind to let everyone know that formalwear was the attire, but look at what some of his siblings still showed up in. Teenagers!

I also have no idea why there’s a kid walking around in his underwear…

His grave being so close, my Sim’s ghost continues to wander the halls of his old home. Even in death, he’s drawn to the bed where he spent so much of his life woohooing. Instead of getting freaked out, Edmund is totally cool with his dead dad haunting his house. Here they are, father and son, sitting and chatting on the bed together like old friends.

“I miss waffles.”

For those wondering, Kaylynn Langerak, my Sim’s girlfriend, mourned for a while but then got over it. She inherited his vast fortune, bought a large house and moved into it with her seven daughters. On the other end of the spectrum, two of my Sim’s children by Jess Eastman died not long after he did, for reasons that still remain a mystery to me! I could only guess that, due to the Eastman household of eight only having 50 Simoleons in shared income between them the last I checked, they starved to death. Very sad.

But as always, life in Sims 3 goes on…literally! The neighborhood Sims will thrive whether or not I pay attention to them when I play. All I know is, my Sim has made his mark on the history of Sunset Valley with his 98 children. Their future is in the game’s hands now, as I don’t know if I’m up to playing any of them.

However, I did recently purchase the Sims 3 Pets expansion, so there’s a chance I may go back one day to use one of my Sim’s many descendants to play around with that, like maybe buy a dog or breed some horses or whatever. But for now, my work is done. As promised, at the end of this post, you’ll find screenshots of my Sim’s ridiculous family tree, complete in all its glory. I hope you’ve enjoyed my Sims 3 saga, and thanks for reading!

The End