Archive for June 21st, 2013

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STO: DOFF Mission Dialogues I Have With Myself

June 21, 2013

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– “What?! No, I can’t send you, it’s too dangerous!”

– “This is your captain speaking. There will be no shipboard concert, because apparently none of you are competent enough to organize one.”

– “I don’t care that you’re only a bartender, your congenial ways are needed down in sickbay surgery, so get your ass down there STAT!”

– “How the hell is it possible to fail at shore leave?”

– “I am chagrined to inform all of you that Counselor Marlin has been injured grievously by one of you during a routine psychological examination of the crew. I would be laughing at the irony if I weren’t so sure all of you losers need to be spaced.”

– “Damn, I need a Biologist. Well, time to hit up the Exchange for some chattel.”

– “Oh my god, I swear my entire crew is made up of ‘Stubborn’.”

– “An arena battle to the death, you say? Hmm, looks like you guys are all ‘green’ officers and above. I think I can risk you.”

– “Why, yes, I just authorized those five fine young Vulcan officers to their home planet for shore lea–wait, did you say Pon Farr?”