Archive for the ‘Other Gaming’ Category


Sims 3 Saturday: The Summer Of 69

September 8, 2012

69 babies, that is. It’s Saturday, so you know what that means — time for another installment of the Sims 3 “Family Man” Challenge series. Warning: we are in for some drama this week.

As you know, last week I broke my previous record for this challenge. I mean, at 50 children, I practically blasted it away (old record was 37). However, this doesn’t mean my Sim is going to stop trying for more, because I’m still very interested in seeing how much higher this number can go. It’s just that, you know…we can relax a little. Have a bit of fun.

My Sim joyriding in his expensive car. Cue “Night at the Roxbury” music.

Another thing — my Sim also became an elder last week. He’s nearing the end of his life and can get a visit from the Grim Reaper at any moment — and since this is The Sims, I mean that quite literally! The poor guy has spent the bulk of his life in his bedroom between the sheets, I figured it’s high time for him go out and live a little. As well, I’m looking forward to stirring the pot and causing some drama in the neighborhood worthy of The Young and the Restless. Mark my words, before my Sim dies, he’ll be sure to throw a party inviting all his children…and their mothers. It’ll be like Fight Club.

As usual we start off with the announcements of a new wave of latest births: Juliet Stump gave birth to twins, bringing our count up to 52. Madison VanWatson gave birth to a boy, making it 53. Sharla Bills gave birth to a girl, 54.

After getting pregnant again, neither Madison or Sharla will be able to have any more babies, since their households will become full (8 Sims per household is the max). Once again, my Sim is going to have to go out and meet some potential new mothers if he’s going to keep the birthrate up. This is starting to become a problem. Quite frankly, the neighborhood is starting to run out of eligible women that my Sim hasn’t already romanced (and/or knocked up).

It’s so, so wrong (well, kind of wrong in the real world, but not one bit in the Sims world) but I had no choice but to do it. Rewind back to the Sims 3 Saturday post four weeks ago, when my Sim experienced the most awkward and derpy moment of his life after he invited a Sim named Kaylynn Langerak over to romance only to find out she was still a teenager and in high school. Of course, once he realized his mistake, she was promptly showed the door.

Kaylynn’s first kiss. My Sim’s 348,325th kiss.

Well, many Sims days later, little jail bait Kaylynn is all grown up. The game now classifies her as an adult, and thus is fair game for my Sim to romance (so wrong). In fact, my Sim has been waiting for this moment for a while, maintaining a not-creepy-at-all friendship with Kaylynn even after all this time so that when she has her birthday he can jump right in (even more wrong). My grey-haired Sim and young, vivacious Kaylynn shared their first kiss after he confessed his attraction to her at her house, right in front of her parents because she still lived at home (wrong, wrong, wrong)! She’s always had a crush on me, okay? That’s the story I’m sticking with!

The thing is, I really like Kaylynn. A neat freak and a perfectionist, her personality simply jives with my Sim’s. He has not felt this way for another since Ayesha Ansari. Throwing caution to the wind, he decides to ask her out on a romantic date, hoping for an opportunity to get to know her better without her family around getting in the way. But to do this, my Sim still had to keep Kaylynn from knowing about the other women whose children I fathered, so we chose to meet up at a secluded fishing pond nestled in the hills.

First date out in the middle of nowhere. Watch out for that poison ivy.

It was exactly the thing they both needed. After making out in the woods, they went home to my Sim’s house and woohooed for a baby.

However, to make up for both Sharla’s and Madison’s full households, ideally I needed to romance one more woman. My Sim looked up his contact list to see if there were any other lady Sims on it that he hadn’t made a romantic interest yet. As it turned out, the only other woman I could call over? Iliana Langerak…Kaylynn’s mom. Dun dun dun.

We’ll be right back after the break, because it’s time to update with another wave of babies (because all this time my Sim has been keeping busy): Jess Eastman gave birth to twins, bringing our total to 56. Toya Reid also gave birth to twins, making that 58. Madison gave birth again, to a boy (her last child), 59. Monika Morris gave birth to a boy, 60. Another cycle later, Toya gave birth to another baby boy, 61. Monika gave birth to another boy, so now it’s 62.

“So you’re sure Jared doesn’t suspect a thing?”

A funny story with Monika — when I tried for a baby with her afterward, the option was greyed out, telling me her household was too full for her to become pregnant right now. But that didn’t seem right, as by my calculation there should be one more Sim slot available. A quick check told me that she was actually married, to Jared Frio. Jared and his wife lived in their house with six children — yep, all of them actually mine. I had Monika kick Jared out, forcing him to move in with his brother Connor Frio, thus freeing up the vacated last spot for Monika’s and my Sim’s final child. By the way, don’t bother feeling too bad for Jared, he’s a jerk.

Back to the babies. Bless that fertility treatment lifetime reward, because it’s a parade of twin girls! Tracy Connor gave birth to twin girls. 64! Juliet gave birth to twin girls. 66! And finally, my Sim’s new love Kaylynn Langerak ended up giving birth to twin girls! 68! It was a happy day indeed.

I guess now is a good time to reveal another shocking event — Agnes Crumplebottom, my Sim’s fiancee and only long-term steady relationship, decided to move to another town. Basically, the game took her away, along with her and my Sim’s seven children. Apparently, these moves by the game are completely random, but I personally like to think that she finally got tired of waiting around for my Sim to marry her, grew a backbone and dumped his ass at last.

My Sim actually let Iliana sleep over? Wow.

We now return to the Langerak Saga. With Agnes now gone, my Sim feels he needs a new steady girlfriend. Could Kaylynn be that special someone? After the birth of their daughters, he moved her into her own home so she could start her own household with their new family.

Still, despite his deep feelings for Kaylynn, my Sim, horrible person that he is, could not help himself and invited Iliana, Kaylynn’s mother, over for some romancing. Needless to say, things got out of hand when the evening ended up with the two of them in bed, and Iliana pregnant. Her little boy became baby 69 for my Sim, the half-brother of Iliana’s daughter Kaylynn, as well as the half-brother of Kaylynn’s own children, hers and my Sim’s twins. Confusing, isn’t it?

Poor Kaylynn. What ever will she say about this? Or should the better question be, will she even find out?


Sims 3 Saturday: An Even 50

September 1, 2012

It’s Saturday! Screw the pleasantries, let’s get right into our progress for the Sims 3 Family Man Challenge.

When we left my Sim last week, he was the proud father of 21 children. This week, Sharla Bills gave birth to twins right off the bat, bringing our total up to 23. Ayesha Ansari (my darling, darling Ayesha) gave birth to her and my Sim’s seventh and final baby, a beautiful boy, making that 24. Oh, how I wish more than eight people can reside in a household, but I suppose the game is challenging enough as it is. I can’t imagine how much harder it would be to keep track of any more Sims than that, to make sure they all eat and sleep and go to the bathroom in time before messing themselves.

Meeting Monika Morris. Alliteration is fun.

Monika Morris also gave birth to twins — 26. I don’t believe we’ve met Monika on this blog yet, but she was a spirited young woman I met at a remote beach one day. I have taken to visiting community lots that are more out of the way; less chance of getting caught cheating by any of my dozen or so girlfriends this way!

Bebe Hart gave birth to twins. 28! Agnes Crumplebottom — my “official fiancee”, I guess you can say — gave birth to twins. 30! Madison VanWatson gave birth to twins. 32! Jess Eastman gave birth to twins. 34! See, now the multiples are starting to roll in; that’s what I’m talking about. By now, three days have passed (the gestation period of a Sim, I believe) and we’re now back to Sharla, who got pregnant again after her twins and ended up giving birth to a baby boy, making that 35. By the way, I feel obligated to remind everyone that we are now two babies shy of my last record of 37, from when I did this challenge way back in the day.

But here, something strange happened. The game suddenly informed me that the Hart family has decided to move to another town. Wait, WHAT?! Bebe! Our kids! Bebe et mes bébés! Seriously, I didn’t know this was possible. Is it a way for the game to regulate my neighborhood population? Is the town getting a little too full with my Sim’s children? I sure hope not, because I’m nowhere near done.

The last time I saw Bebe Hart, *sniff*.

Thankfully, Bebe’s and my Sim’s children remained in the family tree so they still count in the record. Unfortunately, I’ll just never see them again. That’s quite a depressing thought, actually. Regardless, Bebe Hart’s departure was a pretty big setback, along with Ayesha’s household being too full now for her to become pregnant again. Two Sims I cannot romance anymore! Once again, I had to go out and meet some new people.

Enter three women my Sim met at the local library: Toya Reid, Juliet Stump, and Tracy Connor. I met them all on there on a single trip and congratulated myself on a successful outing. It wasn’t until later when I opened up neighborhood map that I discovered all three of them lived in the same house, right across the street from me. ARGH! I told myself I wasn’t going to date roommates anymore! It’s a damn good thing that Sims apparently don’t talk about their relationships at home, because they’d certainly realize they were all dating the same guy…because in a few days, the size of the Reid/Stump/Connor household is going to double with the addition of my babies.

Toya with her healthy green “glow”.

That was my first date with Toya Reid when she came over to woohoo. Um, apparently those fumes wafting off her body is supposed to be her bad BO. Luckily, my Sim didn’t seem to mind. I mean, considering that it was HIS fault she smelled bad in the first place, since it appears she neglected to take a shower after he talked to her so much at the library yesterday that her bladder exploded and she peed herself amongst the books.

Something momentous also happened — my Sim had a birthday! He is now an elder, which means there will be no more life stages after this. Still, I’m very sure I’m going to break my record of 37; now it’s just a matter of how much we can break it by before my Sim arrives at the end of his life and is visited by the Grim Reaper because he’s not gonna stop adding to the family ’til his ticker stops tickin’. Now that’s dedication.

He’s still looking quite dapper, though, isn’t he? Er, except for the default clothes. Dear lord, we’re going to find a better outfit. Back to my regular suit I go.

Sims 3 has awful taste in senior citizens’ fashion.

Toya ended up having twins. We’re up to 37 and tied for the record! We’re going to beat it real soon though, because her roommies should be about to give birth too.

Indeed, Tracy gave birth to a baby boy for the tie breaker. 38! Juliet gave birth to a girl, making it 39. Didn’t I warn you that the Reid/Stump/Connor household was going to be exploding with my babies? Time to split them up. Thus, I moved Toya and Juliet out into their own households.

At just shy of 40 children, I think it’s high time I started visiting some of my offspring.

Haven’t you ever heard of a crib?

First, I hit up the Crumplebottom household. As you can see, Agnes had our youngest infant daughter swaddled and lying on the floor when I got there. Oh you, Agnes!

By the way, she has been my fiancee for weeks now, which I guess for a Sim is like, half a lifetime. I feel kinda bad that I haven’t married her after all this time, and it’s probably never going to happen now. After reading her Sims wiki page, this made me feel even worse. Haven’t you ever wondered why she’s always wearing black? Well, now I know, and it breaks my heart. I should never have read that site, but it does amaze and amuse me that all these well-known Sims NPCs have their individual back stories. Some developer spent a lot of time and effort writing all of these.

Begging forgiveness.

Next, I visited Jess Eastman’s house, which just happened to be right across the street from the Crumplebottom house. It didn’t go well. Jess must have caught me walking across the street right after visiting Agnes, because she gave me a huge scolding for being a cheating scumbag as soon as I stepped up to the door. She got so mad she even put our newborn baby on the wet grass to shout at me more effectively.

Poor sleep-deprived Sharla. I totally understand how you feel.

Sharla Bill’s house is next. All I have to say is, she seems overworked.

Time for another wave of new babies! Monika Morris, who was pregnant again after her twins, gave birth to a boy, bringing us up to an even 40. Agnes also gave birth to twins, making that 42 little ones. And with this latest set of twins, that makes eight Sims for the Crumplebottom household. Now I can never marry Agnes. Like, I literally can’t. The “have a wedding” option was conspicuously greyed out when I talked to her afterward, because there is no more room for the two of us and our seven children to live together. So sad.

Madison gave birth to a boy — 43. Jess also gave birth to a boy — 44. I tried for another baby with her right afterward, but she was still too angry at me from our fight outside on her lawn. I will have to romance her again when she forgives me. As if Sharla wasn’t stressed enough, she gave birth to another set of twins — 46. Toya gave birth to a boy — 47. Monika gave birth to twins — 49. Tracy gave birth to a boy — 50!

Okay, I think that’s enough for this week. Aaaand I’ll just leave you with these screenshots of my family tree at this point (it’s so long I had to split it up into two parts).


Sims 3 Saturday: We Are Up To 21

August 25, 2012

Despite this crazy weekend with Guild Wars 2 headstart in progress and all, the Sims must go on. It’s Saturday, so time for another update, as our incredible super-duper amazing Sims 3 Family Man Challenge continues.

And yes, you read the title right. We see a huge jump this week, from the previous week’s humble figure of 10 little sprogs, to a whopping total of 21 at the time I drafted this (we’re actually up to a lot more now). It wasn’t easy. I’ve played Sims games for many years, and in that time I’ve participated in many challenges, but I have to say Family Man is one of the more difficult ones (but it’s also the most twisted and fun). Not only does my Sim’s entire life revolve around meeting women, romancing them, and trying for babies, he has to make sure he remembers to eat and sleep so that he doesn’t die of fatigue or starvation amidst all this hot, wild, sweaty woohooing.

My Sim’s a lover not a fighter.

And let’s not forget — we’re kinda working under a time limit here. My Sim’s birthday looms on the horizon; in a few days he becomes and elder. After that, he can expire from old age at any moment, so let’s sow those oats as far and as wide as we can while we’re virile and, well, still alive.

I’m not even going to deny it anymore, my Sim is now shamelessly trying for a baby with the same women over and over; as soon as they get pregnant and have their babies, I repeat this cycle all over, as long as these Sims would have me. Once I’ve established the relationship, things get relatively easier; I just have to be careful to maintain them and avoid being dumped for being a cheating scumbag.

Recall how last week, I mentioned the women my Sim had been seeing: Bebe Hart, Jocasta Bachelor, Jess Eastman, and Sharla Bills. Okay, ready? Deep breath now!

Bebe gave birth to twins! My Sim is now the proud father of an even dozen children. Then Jocasta also gave birth to twins. That’s 14. Later, Jess had a baby boy. 15.

I think that’s Bebe. Or is it Jocasta?

I’ve also managed to build up enough lifetime reward points to buy some perks — like being more likeable so that my Sim will make friends a lot easier, being always interesting so I can spam the same interactions over and over without other Sims being bored (since I tend to spam “flirt” all the time, this perk was a godsend).

At this point, my Sim is woohooing every day, sometimes up to three times a day — morning, afternoon, evening. After we do the baby dance, I always kindly ask the Sim I’m with to leave the premises so I can invite the next one over. Apparently none of the Sims I’m seeing seem to be employed, because they appear to be able to come over anytime I call, or maybe I’m just lucky. There is really no time to do anything else, I’m hardly leaving my house (more specifically, the bedroom) and very soon I get a moodlet telling me my Sim is going “stir crazy!” from being cooped up all the time.

Three under three and another one on the way.

To fix this, I decided to visit my true love Ayesha Ansari to see how she and my little tykes are doing. Before I did, however, I went to “edit town” view and split up her household, placing her roommate Madison VanWatson and her little one (also my child) into a separate house. After that disaster with Molly French and Fiona McIrish in the first week, I vowed never to date roomies again. I did the same thing for Sharla Bills and Jess Eastman, because I found out were living in the same house as well. This accomplishes a couple things: 1) there now is more room for the women and our current and future children in each house, and 2) I can visit my kids without worrying I’ll run into other Sims.

Doing this is iffy, but I don’t think I’m technically breaking the rules as they only state I am not allowed to play any other Sim in the neighborhood than my own. But even if I am breaking the rules, oh well, I’m having too much fun to really care.

Being told by my six-year-old how useless I am.

So I go to Ayesha’s house. The place is full of my kids, and yep, as you can see, she’s expecting another. There are literally babies everywhere. And just as luck would have it, while I was there, she went into labor! I wasn’t sure what to do, so my Sim ended up doing nothing but stand around while she’s screaming out in pain (oh dear, I’m terrible). Only afterwards did I realize I could have taken her to the hospital.

With this newest birth, we now we are up to 16! Not two seconds after she came home with the new baby boy, Ayesha and my Sim jumped into bed and tried for their baby #7. This is both a happy and bittersweet occasion — since only up to eight Sims may live in the same household, this is probably the last and final child for my Sim and Ayesha. In spite of the challenge, I couldn’t help developing a soft spot for her.

Yeah, so I wasn’t doing anything terribly important, besides, you know, JUST AT THE HOSPITAL HAVING A BABY!

I find I am now forgetting which Sims I am woohooing is already pregnant or not. One time, I called Sharla Bills to come over and she said yes, but changed her mind after that almost immediately. I got frustrated, until I realized it turned out that she was at the hospital going into labor at that very moment. She did come over afterward, carrying our new baby boy. That’s 17 now, by the way.

Like I said, I am also dating Ayesha’s now ex-roomie Madison (thanks to my antics), and she seems to have a habit of bringing children to our dates, so I basically had to buy a couple cribs for the house. Now when my girlfriends come over with our children, they don’t have to put the little tots on the floor, because I was actually feeling quite terrible about that. Finally, they’ll have a place to sleep while the adults woohoo down the hall.

Baby is snug as a bug in a rug.

In the above picture, Sharla Bills gets it. And yet, it appears Madison never learns:


Here, it’s been three days (the gestation period of a Sim) and the cycle starts up again. Bebe had another boy. 18! Agnes Crumplebottom, my darling fiancee, also gave birth to a boy. 19! Madison VanWatson ended up having another boy. 20!

After the first couple sets of twins, I seem to be only getting singletons now. Looks like the effectiveness of the fertility treatment is completely random, but imagine how much crazier this would be if I got lucky each time and had multiples.

Finally, Jess welcomed a baby boy. Oh my, blue all over! We’re being inundated with boys this week. And that’s how we got to 21!


Sims 3 Saturday: Perfect Ten

August 18, 2012

So, this week’s session of the Family Man Sims 3 challenge got off to a bizarre start: I loaded up the game, carted my Sim off downtown to the bistro, and encountered a game bug which duplicated him! For a while there, there were two of me. The implications of this for the challenge are mind-boggling! Astounding, even! But alas, it was also just too damn weird and I had to reload.

Talking to myself.

Recall how last week, my Sim had resolved to go out more in order to start meeting new people. It only made sense, therefore, to start this session by trying his luck with some of these new Sims on his contact list. Except things didn’t turn out so well.

It was bad. First up was Claire Ursine, whom my Sim had the pleasure of meeting on his last trip to the neighborhood park. Frustration! It didn’t matter what I did, Claire would do everything with me except woohoo! I would max out her affection. Nope. I became extremely irresistible. Nada. Nothing worked. My poor, rejected Sim! As it turned out, Claire’s supposedly the town recluse who preferred living the loner life down by the ocean. Sometimes, it just comes down to pure bad luck. Or maybe it was because my jerk of a Sim forced her to break up with her boyfriend. Oh, how karma rears its ugly head.

Everything but woohoo.

A new maid also started showing up to clean my house every day, a Sim named Beatrice Reeder. My Sim and Beatrice had a great thing going for a while there, but when we tried for a baby, the option was blanked out — again! Surprise, surprise, Beatrice’s household too full for a new family member, just like what happened to the last maid, Kate Pistachio. Desperate now, my Sim practically jumped on the next female Sim to walk through the door. She happened to be repairwoman Amanda Gerstein, who showed up to fix a broken toilet. Needless to say, bad idea! It was strike three, and worst of all, my toilet remained a gushing mess after Amanda stormed out of my house in a fury.

Note to self: no more hitting on the hired help.

Then, something weird happened. Along came Madison VanWatson to save the day, showing up at my door carrying a toddler in her arms. Uh, yeah, she brought a kid to our date. Unannounced! Arrrgh. I was about to turn her away in frustration because, let’s face it, having a baby in the house while trying to romance someone just cramps my style. But suddenly, with shock, I realized the child she was holding was MY kid! As in, my Sim’s daughter with Ayesha Ansari, one of the twins who were born last week.

Just going to pop upstairs to woohoo with the babysitter. Kid will be okay on his own on the floor there.

I was thoroughly baffled as to how this woman got a hold of my baby and was walking around town with her, but then discovered that apparently Madison and Ayesha were roommates in the Working Friends household. Ah, so not a case of kidnapping then, the former was simply babysitting! Whew. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think it occurred to me that what I was about to do may be a little inappropriate, but that still didn’t stop my Sim from getting Madison to put little Christian Ansari down and come upstairs for some woohooing. As Ayesha’s and my baby was left alone and unwatched downstairs by herself, Madison and I were upstairs busy making our own. Soooo wrong.

Since my plan with new Sims didn’t seem to be working, my Sim decided to reconnect with some old flames. A good strategy, except my Sim made the mistake of going out to one of the busiest hangouts in town to do it, which nearly led to disaster. It’s getting a little too dangerous to be seen in public, since at this point,he’s the boyfriend of more than a dozen Sims in the neighborhood, which is maybe one in every three or four women he meets on the street. As one of them stopped to flirt with my Sim, of all people, Ayesha Ansari appeared around the corner and almost caught him cheating. Yikes. My Sim practically tripped over himself jumping back into his car and running home before she could give him an earful.

Madison VanWatson going into labor right outside the diner.

Lucky thing too, since out of all the girlfriends, I think Ayesha is my favorite. Despite having had a hot date with her roommate just the day before, in my mind Ayesha’s really my Sim’s one true love. She ended up having three more children with my Sim, making them the parents of five little ones in total. Said roomie, Madison VanWatson (of the terrible babysitter reputation, as you would recall) also ended up giving birth to a baby boy. Thus it was such that the Working Friends household is now full of my Sim’s babies.

That’s not all. My “official” girlfriend, Agnes Crumplebottom also had another baby boy. She also became my fiancee at the end of this Sims 3 session, because for some reason, she would only agree to woohoo with me again after I’d proposed to her. Um, hey, I guess whatever works! My Sim is now the proud daddy of ten little ones!

Proposing to Agnes Crumplebottom.

Of course, as it had to happen in the messed up world of the Sims, right after I get engaged is when my Sim started getting lucky left and right. Here are just some of the Sims he chanced to meet and romance this week: Bebe Hart. Jocasta Bachelor. Jess Eastman. Sharla Bills. Yep, they’re all expecting. And this is after I happened to snag “fertility treatment” as a lifetime reward too.

Next week should be very interesting indeed.


Sims 3 Saturday: Fast Five

August 11, 2012

Welcome back to the “Family Man Challenge” (i.e. the “Father-as-many-children-as-you-can Challenge”). The Sims 3 saga continues, picking up where we left off last week. There have been a few setbacks for my Sim, but he’s not one to get discouraged. In fact, he’s more determined than ever to do better this week. Sowing one’s wild oats is not as easy as one would think…

First things first. No more waiting around for women like Agnes Crumplebottom to just walk up and knock on his door, since apparently she was a fluke. For this to work, we’re going to have to go out and actively meet more new people. WAY more new people. Naturally, my Sim wasted no time buying a car so he can start visiting community lots in the neighborhood where most Sims congregate.

Giving random women in the park back rubs.

This move paid off almost immediately. During one of his trips to the park, my Sim had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of one Ayesha Ansari, the beautiful and sexy resident of the Working Friends household. They hit it off right away, and in no time at all were trying for a baby.

Meanwhile, things were getting confusing with all these new contacts. It’s hard enough juggling multiple women, there’s no sense trying to maintain those dead-end relationships that have not borne fruit (so to speak), so it was time to prune my Sim’s friends list (again, so to speak). I was genuinely sorry to see that Kate Pistachio, our very own kleptomaniac-maid extraordinaire, was the first to go. Recall from last week that her household was too full for a new baby. For some reason, I couldn’t get the option for her to move in with me to show up either, so inevitably, we broke up.

Kate did not take it well. It also did not help that I fired her afterward, for the sole purpose of increasing the chances that a new maid might show up, one who might be more receptive to the goals of my challenge. Yes, my Sim is such a dick! As such, he deserved every kick and punch.

Beaten up by the maid.

Sadly, we also had to say good bye to Fiona McIrish. She was the mother of my Sim’s first child and will always be special to him, but she was also going to become an elder very soon. Heartlessly, my Sim decided to break up with her by flirting with her roommate, Molly French, right before Fiona’s very eyes. Here, the game suddenly alerted me with a helpful pop-up: my Sim has earned a “dirt-bag” reputation! Thank you, Captain Obvious!

Remember Molly? The woman my Sim was originally dating but who dumped his ass last week when she caught him cheating on her with Fiona? Yep, this is shaping up to be one epic love triangle. Apparently, Molly has forgiven my Sim (or has completely forgotten his caddish ways; those Sims have terribly short memories, after all) and was eager to take him back and resume their relationship again. Very soon, they were expecting a child.

So far so good, but it never fails — just when things start to go smoothly in the Sims, that’s when you know it’s time for a derpy moment.

It started when my Sim noticed a pretty new face in his acquaintance list, Kaylynn Langerak. Feeling lonely one night, he called her up and invited her over. Their evening started off pleasantly enough, with long chats and friendly get-to-knows. That was when I noticed something was wrong — for some reason, I wasn’t getting any options to flirt or do anything romantic with her. With shock and disgust, I suddenly realized why. She was a teenager! ARRGGH! Why don’t they make the height differences a little more obvious?! What’s wrong with this girl anyway?! Agreeing to go to my Sim’s house alone, and in the middle of the night?! NO. HELL NO. ACK! UGH! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.

Thankfully, the birth of three more children at the end of my gaming session made up for the unpleasantness of that faux pas. We are now up to five! Molly French had a little boy, which was exciting. But the best part of all was that Ayesha Ansari had twins! This happened even without my Sim having to pay for fertility treatments with lifetime happiness points, so that was kind of a nice surprise.

Um, yeah. This game never ceases to amaze me with the weird and messed up things it allows you to do.


Sims 3 Saturday: Two Sprogs And Counting

August 4, 2012

The “Family Man Challenge” saga continues. One of the first steps to every Sims game is setting up your Sim in your neighborhood. I saw to that by moving my Casanova into an unoccupied lot across from the Single Moms household and almost immediately started working my charms on both its residents, Fiona McIrish and Molly French. In retrospect, that was my first mistake, and I’d made it right off the bat. Note to self: it’s always a risk trying to concurrently romance two Sims who live in the same household. If one finds out about the other, IT’S ALL OVER.

Despite this initial fumble, I plowed on (the first of many bad puns in this series, no doubt). My first success was Fiona McIrish, which came much quicker than I thought. It did help a lot that she was flirty little Sim, just like me, so all I did was spam suggestive jokes and amorous hugs until we were a couple. Getting the option to have a child was easy after that.

Agnes Crumplebottom was next. Not much of a story behind her, I’m afraid. She just literally showed up at my house one day and said yes when I asked her to stay over. Little did she know… (By the way, at this point, the game helpfully informed me that my Sim was getting a rightly deserved “bad” reputation.)

Between running around romancing all these women and keeping up with my daily needs like food and sleep, I was barely finding time to clean my house. A messy abode sort of cramps my style, so that was when I hired a maid, Kate Pistachio. Maybe I was starting to get a tad too ambitious here, but the moment Kate showed up at my door for her first day I work, I knew I had to have her. While chatting her up, I found out she was a kleptomaniac (wait, what? Why am I still hiring her to clean my house?)

Towards the end of my play session, I have to say I was feeling pretty good. Two hours in and I was already juggling four Sim relationships, and two of them were already expecting. But here I must have gotten too cocky because that was when my troubles began.

It all started with Molly French. She was over at my house, and we were having a good time. And then right as I was on the verge of asking her to “Woohoo” she suddenly hightailed it out of there. To go to work or for some stupid reason, imagine that! I figured, no problem, I’m patient and can wait for another day. But there was a problem — every time I would call to invite her over, she would agree and then promptly change her mind. Not sure what was happening, but this repeated itself for about half a dozen times until I got sick of it and just decided to walk across the street to try to catch her at her house.

Molly wasn’t home. But Fiona McIrish was! She had just given birth to our beautiful baby boy, so there I was with her, marveling our little miracle and sneaking in some romantic hugs and kisses, when BAM! Molly French came home, walked in on us and caught us in the act. Right away, my affection level with Molly plummeted down to the negatives.

It was no use; no matter how much I begged, pleaded, or apologized to Molly, she just got angrier and angrier. Those red negative symbols were flying over her head like there was no tomorrow. It was clear I was in the doghouse with her. And then came the dreaded pop-up one day: Molly French and I were no longer in a relationship. All the effort I had put into the two of us had come to naught.

The setbacks didn’t end there. Kate Pistachio the maid and I were still an item at this point, but she and I soon hit our own roadblock. One day after she was finished cleaning my house, I asked her to stay over. Things got real hot, and I was raring to go when the “Woohoo” option appeared. But then to my dismay, the “Try for baby” option was blanked out. Turns out, Kate came from a household that was too full for a new family member. Once again, all that hard work down the drain.

This is a lot harder than I thought.


Sims 3: “Family Man” Challenge

July 28, 2012

Note: One thing you have to know about me is, it is impossible for me to play Sims games “properly” like a normal person.

Time for a non-MMO post. This usually happens whenever my husband goes out of town, barring me from playing online games without him due to the clauses in our Spousal Leveling Contract, leading me to seek other gaming avenues for my entertainment. Coincidentally, I’ve also been looking for an interesting yet easy single-player game to amuse me for all those times I can’t sleep after a middle-of-the-night baby feeding.

Apparently Sims 3 was the answer, thanks to some recent chatter on Twitter taunting me, teasing me, tempting me ARRRGGGH! reminding me what a great game it is. Besides, every few months or so I tend to get into control freak mode and the irresistible urge to dig up my Sims and play them rises. It was time.

Anyway, the last time I went full throttle on Sims 3 was probably a few years ago, when it occurred to me what an excellent idea it would be to take my single male Sim and see how many children I can father on all the women in the neighborhood. At the time, I was patting myself on the back for being oh so naughty! Little did I know, there actually exists entire Sims 3 challenges built around this very concept. Only recently did I stumble upon the rules and guidelines for the ironically named “Family Man” challenge.

And indeed, a challenge it was. It’s all coming back to me now: the never-ending cycle of trying to meet new Sims, juggling multiple relationships, always waiting for that elusive “WooHoo!” option to show up — all the while having to remind myself to eat, sleep, take showers and go to the bathroom. As I recall, though, it did lead to some rather comical results. After a couple generations, none of my Sims could find girlfriends or boyfriends and get married because all of them were related to each other in some way or another. My family tree was a hilarious mess.

Last time I did this, I think I ended up with around 37 children.

I plan on doing better this time.

To be continued?