Posts Tagged ‘Sims’


The Sims Medieval: A Day In Ye Olde Life

March 28, 2011

They say behind every great kingdom, there is a great king. Or at least I think they do, anyway. For the charming, picturesque kingdom of Fairhaven, this man was Lord Wellic Kyranny. He loves family (which doesn’t really mean much, ’cause he hasn’t got one), is friendly (only when he needs something from you), and his fatal flaw is being uncouth. But seriously, can uncouth really be considered a fatal flaw when you’re a king? It’s not like being a merchant or anything, where being a total boorish and vulgar clod would actually hurt your livelihood. On the other hand, who’d dare gainsay a king?

Now, Lord Wellic isn’t a bad man. He’s just…pragmatic. And feeling a little tired in the above screenshot. Hey, give him a break, running the kingdom is hard work! But don’t just take my word for it, let Lord Wellic take you on a tour of a typical day in his life as king of Fairhaven.

Early in the morning, the day begins with a hearty meal of bear stew (breakfast of champions!) This is also the perfect time for Lord Wellic to meet up with all his royal staff and advisors to discuss the going ons of the kingdom.

“A fine job we are all doing, lads!” he says to all. “Now what kind of death and suffering can we inflict upon the good people of Fairhaven today?”

Like all kings, Lord Wellic has a weakness for the thrill of the hunt. “If it bleeds, we can kill it!”

The royal inventory happens to be running low on whale, so Wellic is tasked to take to the high seas in order to fill the larders up again with some Humpback or Bowhead (was so about to write Sperm, until I realized how that would sound).

The crew, however, finds no whale that day. Instead, the lookout in the crow’s nest cries out, “There, over by the rocks! A mermaid, m’lord!” Indeed, an enchanting, beautiful young creature with a head and torso of a human female and a tail of a fish, sits sunning herself by the water. The men on deck are moved to tears by her sweet song.

“Pshaw!” Wellic snorts. “Everyone knows mermaids don’t exist! Harpoon the thing, butcher it for lunch, and let’s just go home already, I’m bored.”

Okay, enough mucking about, time to do some real work around here. One of the most important jobs of being a monarch is to listen to the petitions of the common people. “Perfect! I practiced extra hard on my ‘you-must-be-kidding-me’ and ‘you-are-soooo-far-beneath-my-notice’ expressions last night! Let’s go meet the peasants.”

Villager #1: I would like to have a female sheep from the royal flock. All my ewes died. May I please have one?

Lord Wellic: NO EWE FOR YOU! Do you think simoles grow on trees?! If I just simply pandered to every single bloody peasant who comes in here asking for livestock, how would I be able to afford that solid gold statue of myself I’ve been planning to install on my front lawn?

Villager #2: I seek guidance. A neighbor always leaves out food and attracts stray dogs. They’re mean! They taunt our chicken and eat our shoes! What should we do?

Lord Wellic: BRIBE ME! Not only will I sentence your neighbor to death and get rid of your stray dog problem, you can go to sleep happy tonight knowing you did a fine service to your kingdom, by generously donating to the royal coffers. Oh, don’t look at me like that. Did you think “Lord Wellic Kyranny” rhymes with “tyranny” was just a coincidence? (It was, actually!)

Villager #3: Mighty One, I have a problem. I am possessed by demons. That’s not the problem, though. The problem is that I’m beginning to enjoy it. What should I do?

Lord Wellic: GET THEE TO A TAVERN! There’s only one thing to do when you feel that good — get stinking drunk and fornicate the night away. Go on, enjoy! You’ll thank me in the morning. See, I’m an awesome king!

Time for the daily afternoon tour of Fairhaven. First stop, the Judgment Zone where the stocks are located and where the kingdom’s pet beast of justice resides. Oh dear, there’s something terribly wrong here. Lord Wellic does not seem to be liking the sight of those empty stocks…

“AH HA! Much better!” Lord Wellic laughs. “Come on, gather ’round my countrymen, don’t be shy! Hurl your eggs and rotten tomatoes at the prisoners, it’s so much fun! Especially when they are completely innocent!”

Man, all work and no play makes Lord Wellic a dull boy. One of his favorite things to do besides shirking his royal responsibilities is to sneak into the back of the storeroom and make out with that saucy foreign lass Fionnuala, Merchant Princess of Tredony.

Wellic says, “Hmm, we’ll just file this under ‘diplomatic negotiations’, shall we?”

Ah, what a nice way to end the day. The king falls into bed, glad for a hard day’s work, ready to do it all again and more tomorrow. “I am a wonderful monarch,” he thinks to himself as he stifles a yawn. “Fairhaven could not ask for a better king. I was born to do this job — I love my people, and my people sure love me!”

Huh. If that’s so, why is our Lord Wellic suddenly dreaming of assassination? Find out next time!


Dear March 2011, I Need More Free Time

January 4, 2011

In the last two days, I’ve made three game pre-orders, all releasing in March 2011.

March 1, 2011: Rift

“We’re  not in Azeroth anymore.” Ha! If there ever was a statement that made me laugh and groan at the same time, that was it.

I had a good time in beta, despite not being completely blown away, but the best part about MMOs is playing with others and quite a few people I know will be adventuring in Telara this Spring, which will likely make playing on the live servers a different and much more enjoyable experience.

March 8, 2011: Dragon Age 2

I’m a big fan of the Dragon Age series. Despite playing Dragon Age: Origins on the Xbox360, my DA2 preorder is for the PC version (I hope I won’t regret my decision) because 1) I prefer playing on a computer if I can, and 2) all new story and protagonist = no reason to port over my DA:O playthrough. I’m aware there will be links to the first game, but I’m thinking if there’s no sweet, sweet Alistair if I can’t continue my human noble’s story, then what the hell’s the point?

Hopefully I’ll get my fill of Rift in before DA2 comes out, but if my obsession with the first game is any indication, it won’t take me more than a few days to finish.

March 22, 2011: The Sims Medieval

One of the changes in The Sims Medieval is a shift in focus towards the “happiness” of your Kingdom versus simply the little lives of your individual Sims. I’m most intrigued by the Quest system.

Really, it’s quite sad how much I’m looking forward to this, but I love The Sims franchise. My husband already makes fun of me whenever I play Sims 3, and when Medieval comes out, something tells me I’ll have to put up with his infernal Monty Python jokes too.


Sims 3 And Interior Decorating

December 1, 2010

I’ve owned Sims 3 on PC since the day it came out, but I think I’ve only played it a handful of times. While I love these “strategic life simulation” games (probably because I’m a control freak) I can only stand to play them once every few months, for just a week or two at a time. I get too bored after a while, and a little jealous that my Sims are living more opulent lives than me, and will start to mess around. That “Sims Legacy Challenge” idea probably lasted all but two days (and less than three generations) before I got distracted and started doing things like murdering Sims in creative ways and burying them in the backyard, or seeing how many children my Sim can father on all the neighborhood women until everyone in the whole damn town is related.

So I had to chuckle a little at the irony when I fired up the game last night, to do something actually serious in it for once…and applicable to real life.

See, my husband and I recently signed a contract for a house, and last weekend we got into a conversation about how we would furnish the living room. Particularly, we talked about color schemes. I initially floated a few ideas by him, and he was skeptical about all of them, until a light came on and we figured out that he was having trouble picturing it all in his head.

That was all it took to get me onto Sims 3, building a replica of our future house. In doing so, I also gained a strong appreciation for the game’s customization tools. I might not have had all the building materials or furniture pieces I required, but if I wanted to change any fabrics to navy blue or a piece of wood to cherry, all it took was a few clicks of a button. It’s obviously no where near as powerful as the professional programs out there, but it was enough for me to convey a basic “look and feel”.

In the end, it was only the colors that mattered to me anyway. It was tough to work with plain white walls, but I was able to play with a few ideas.

…and I admit it was more fun than I expected.

Overview with a bit of cool undertones.


A splash of red...


Warm browns...