Sims 3 Saturday: Perfect Ten

So, this week’s session of the Family Man Sims 3 challenge got off to a bizarre start: I loaded up the game, carted my Sim off downtown to the bistro, and encountered a game bug which duplicated him! For a while there, there were two of me. The implications of this for the challenge are mind-boggling! Astounding, even! But alas, it was also just too damn weird and I had to reload.

Talking to myself.

Recall how last week, my Sim had resolved to go out more in order to start meeting new people. It only made sense, therefore, to start this session by trying his luck with some of these new Sims on his contact list. Except things didn’t turn out so well.

It was bad. First up was Claire Ursine, whom my Sim had the pleasure of meeting on his last trip to the neighborhood park. Frustration! It didn’t matter what I did, Claire would do everything with me except woohoo! I would max out her affection. Nope. I became extremely irresistible. Nada. Nothing worked. My poor, rejected Sim! As it turned out, Claire’s supposedly the town recluse who preferred living the loner life down by the ocean. Sometimes, it just comes down to pure bad luck. Or maybe it was because my jerk of a Sim forced her to break up with her boyfriend. Oh, how karma rears its ugly head.

Everything but woohoo.

A new maid also started showing up to clean my house every day, a Sim named Beatrice Reeder. My Sim and Beatrice had a great thing going for a while there, but when we tried for a baby, the option was blanked out — again! Surprise, surprise, Beatrice’s household too full for a new family member, just like what happened to the last maid, Kate Pistachio. Desperate now, my Sim practically jumped on the next female Sim to walk through the door. She happened to be repairwoman Amanda Gerstein, who showed up to fix a broken toilet. Needless to say, bad idea! It was strike three, and worst of all, my toilet remained a gushing mess after Amanda stormed out of my house in a fury.

Note to self: no more hitting on the hired help.

Then, something weird happened. Along came Madison VanWatson to save the day, showing up at my door carrying a toddler in her arms. Uh, yeah, she brought a kid to our date. Unannounced! Arrrgh. I was about to turn her away in frustration because, let’s face it, having a baby in the house while trying to romance someone just cramps my style. But suddenly, with shock, I realized the child she was holding was MY kid! As in, my Sim’s daughter with Ayesha Ansari, one of the twins who were born last week.

Just going to pop upstairs to woohoo with the babysitter. Kid will be okay on his own on the floor there.

I was thoroughly baffled as to how this woman got a hold of my baby and was walking around town with her, but then discovered that apparently Madison and Ayesha were roommates in the Working Friends household. Ah, so not a case of kidnapping then, the former was simply babysitting! Whew. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think it occurred to me that what I was about to do may be a little inappropriate, but that still didn’t stop my Sim from getting Madison to put little Christian Ansari down and come upstairs for some woohooing. As Ayesha’s and my baby was left alone and unwatched downstairs by herself, Madison and I were upstairs busy making our own. Soooo wrong.

Since my plan with new Sims didn’t seem to be working, my Sim decided to reconnect with some old flames. A good strategy, except my Sim made the mistake of going out to one of the busiest hangouts in town to do it, which nearly led to disaster. It’s getting a little too dangerous to be seen in public, since at this point,he’s the boyfriend of more than a dozen Sims in the neighborhood, which is maybe one in every three or four women he meets on the street. As one of them stopped to flirt with my Sim, of all people, Ayesha Ansari appeared around the corner and almost caught him cheating. Yikes. My Sim practically tripped over himself jumping back into his car and running home before she could give him an earful.

Madison VanWatson going into labor right outside the diner.

Lucky thing too, since out of all the girlfriends, I think Ayesha is my favorite. Despite having had a hot date with her roommate just the day before, in my mind Ayesha’s really my Sim’s one true love. She ended up having three more children with my Sim, making them the parents of five little ones in total. Said roomie, Madison VanWatson (of the terrible babysitter reputation, as you would recall) also ended up giving birth to a baby boy. Thus it was such that the Working Friends household is now full of my Sim’s babies.

That’s not all. My “official” girlfriend, Agnes Crumplebottom also had another baby boy. She also became my fiancee at the end of this Sims 3 session, because for some reason, she would only agree to woohoo with me again after I’d proposed to her. Um, hey, I guess whatever works! My Sim is now the proud daddy of ten little ones!

Proposing to Agnes Crumplebottom.

Of course, as it had to happen in the messed up world of the Sims, right after I get engaged is when my Sim started getting lucky left and right. Here are just some of the Sims he chanced to meet and romance this week: Bebe Hart. Jocasta Bachelor. Jess Eastman. Sharla Bills. Yep, they’re all expecting. And this is after I happened to snag “fertility treatment” as a lifetime reward too.

Next week should be very interesting indeed.